An Idiot’s Guide to joining the Mile High Club

Love is in the air. Or is it? Apparently, one in 10 of us has joined the Mile High Club. That number seems a little high.

If one thing in aviation really irks me it’s the constant focus on joining the Mile High Club. I have no interest in partaking in this myself, and I cannot understand what is so special about it in this day and age. Maybe in the 1970s, it may have been kinky, and something to boast about with your friends, but nowadays I think the novelty has worn off, and it actually sounds really corny to even speak about it.

It seems that having sex in the sky is actually illegal in most countries (and therefore through most countries’ airspace) so joining the Mile High Club in a commercial airliner on a scheduled flight is pretty much impossible anyway. However, in smaller aircraft, and in particular business jets, I can full well imagine that sometimes the animal instinct takes over and two consenting adults find another way to pass the time before disembarkation…

I don’t fly on business jets, only on large aircraft, such as the A380 and the B777, so anybody on those who wanted to join the Mile High Club would have to go together into the public toilets in the front or rear of the plane, and this would surely be noticed by other passengers or even by the cabin crew. Then when you tried to get out of the toilet, once the deed was done, chances are there would be a queue for the loo (as always), and a whole group of people would look aghast as two of you came out of the toilet together. Would these people keep quiet? Or would one of them snitch on you to the cabin crew? Is it really worth the risk?

When your planes lands, I presume you just get off and go through immigration as normal, pick up your bags, and then head for the hotel. But I ask: why not just wait until you’re there anyway, rather than have sex in the sky?